dashboard confessions

I didn’t want to hear it.

What we had was confusing enough as it is and I knew having one more complication would shatter this friendship into pieces once over.

Turning it around didn’t make it any better.

Putting on a brave face wasn’t a big help either.

I can’t fix this anymore. I thought I could but things just got too much to handle. I can’t deny what you said no matter how messed up it was.

My choice remains the same. I still won’t choose you ’cause fighting for us just isn’t worth the risk. This was doomed from the start anyway, I was just too stubborn to accept it. I knew sooner or later circumstances would beat me and my fight to keep this friendship intact would eventually fail. I knew one day i’d grow tired of hearing you rant and whine about your problems, that one day i’d get irritated about how you only seem to find me when your sh*t isn’t together and you get yourself into trouble and that one day i’d have to make this choice, this friendship I painstakingly kept together for almost four years or the man who saved me and held me close. It hurts when things I work hard for go to waste but I guess we can’t always have every happy ending we want. I guess we’re only entitled to one.

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life,
but who you have in your life that counts.
I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.
I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.
I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned that learning to forgive takes practice.
I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.
I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned that I’m getting more and more like my grandma, and I’m kinda happy about it.
I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I’ve learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it.
I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.
I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I’m forced to choose sides even when I don’t want to.
I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned that if you don’t want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I’ve learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.
I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I’ve learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.
I’ve learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.
I’ve learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I’ve learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned that although the word “love” can have
many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.
I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

great isabelle!!!!!!? the least you could’ve done was to spare me. I HATE YOU!

(kidding…love pa rin kita! )

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1. Unica Hija ako. I have two older brothers and one younger than me.

2. Writing is my form of release but i don’t blog all of my essays. I have a journal. 10 of them are filled and counting…

3. I am brutally honest. I say it as I see it. I never make “paligoy-ligoy”. If I want to say it, i will. pero hindi lahat ng opinyon ko o sinasabi ko “harsh” , most of the time, nakakatawa…ask cindy, jane, febie and my other groupmates..hahaha! diba my labs?!

4. I am an internet illiterate. Ang ebidensya: hindi ako gumawa ng FS at Multiply accounts ko at buwan ang binilang bago ko na-gets ang FS at Multiply…hahaha ;p Nung minsang nagmagaling ako, nag-facebook ako pero as of kahapon lang (03/02/09), deactivated na due to the fact na I don’t know how to run it…hahahahahahaha ;p i don’t think i’ve ever viewed anyone who’s not in my friend’s list ever…wait! no, i haven’t pala talaga. hahaha! bukod sa tatanga tanga ako sa internet…tamad rin akong magbrowse…hahaha ;p i seldom add friends. they add me again due to katamaran ;p

5. I was once seriously allergic to peanuts.

6. I’m partly bulag and partly bingi…lagi akong may tunnel vision sa Malls and Public Places…hahahahaha ;p so please, if you see me anywhere, tap me or shout my name kasi most of the time, people think snabera ako..pero honestly, hindi ko lang talaga kayo nakita. SORRY na …

7. I gave up something important recently and it was worth it.

8. I suck at telling lies. Mabisto gyud ko! maski anong gawin ko…grrrr!

9. I am engaged. Yehes! seryoso…but the Wedding will be on 2015. hahahaha ;p

10. I almost had my dream job if it weren’t for the recession sh*t.

11. I am good at reporting stuff in class kahit madalas hindi ko naintindihan ang topic…I fake it…it’s a gift that three of my best 4H - groupmates also share…hahahaha ;p

12. Iba ako magalit. I know it sounds so cliche-ish pero IBA talaga ako magalit.I don’t think anyone ever saw me get furious when I was in college. Yung mga kaibigan ko lang talaga sa amin. I don’t really get angry easily. Most of the time,I get irritated then it simply passes, maging okay na ako ulit. Kadalasan, stuff don’t really get to me that easy.

13. I’m a daddy’s girl. SUPER SPOILED.  inaamin ko ‘yan at ipinagmamalaki kong i’m his favorite. hahahahahaha ;p hindi na kailangan ng ebidensya. my dad is my bestfriend. I share everything…EVERYTHING with my dad. I love him to death. He knows me too much, he sometimes uses it to manipulate me pero i know him too much i also do the same..hahahaha ;p

14. I wasn’t this fair before. I loved playing kickball and volleybal under the sun so i was really NEGRA all throughout elementary and highschool! ;p

15.  I’m a bookworm. taong bookshop talaga ako eversince. I never fail to visit bookshops sa maski anong mall. I read everything. Kahit anong libro especially if bored ako. Once, nung sobrang kating-kati akong magbasa, natapos ko yung Prof. Nursing in the Philippines by Venzon…hahaha! akala ng nanay ko nasiraan na ako ng bait. ;p

16. I can actually sing. pero i never dared to sing in contests. My family knows how good I am (char!) and my mom is still frustrated because eversince I was a little girl she wanted to me to sing in front of an audience but well, I didn’t want to. hahaha ;p I’ve only sang twice in college and it was all out of desperate measures. hahaha ;p

17. I used to dance, too. i joined contests..hahahaha…But I ,eventually and purposely, retired. hahaha ;p

18. When I was six years old, I fell from a tree. As in 6 feet…and that’s why…

19. My left arm is singkaw. hahahahahaha ;p If you know Pocholo Agustin, during our freshmen year,  I used to scare him away by showing him how i can bend my left arm freakishly…hahaha ;p

20. I’m good at ignoring drama. I have a too cool to care personality. I am indifferent towards the people I don’t like,  i don’t want to hang out with and towards those who annoy me and towards who is/was at fault.

21. KARMA is on my side. Lahat ng may kasalanan sa akin..kinakarma. as in, LAHAT. It never fails me and I don’t really know why. That’s why I never fight back and i just walk away. I let nature take its course. I firmly believe that what  goes around, comes all the way back around. Kaya kung may malaking kasalanan ka sa akin at hindi ka pa nakakarma, malamang hindi pa ngayon pero SOON. ;p

22. I’m not religious. I don’t go to church often because I feel na parang kabastosan sa Diyos na magsisimba ako kasi ‘yun ang dapat at hindi dahil ‘yun ang gusto ko. Kung nagsisimba ako dahil gusto ko. I talk to God everyday and I believe that’s what matters most - being able to give him time everyday. I never ask anything from him. I only thank him and tell him to do what he feels is necessary for me and I leave it all up to him.

23. I never hate. HATE is a big word for me. It would take a lot for me to hate anyone or anything. Mahaba talaga ang pasensya ko.

24. I don’t think i’m  that smart but i know i’m witty.

25. I have one of the world’s sweetest and most understanding boyfriend. Ito ipagmamalaki ko talaga at inaamin kong ako talaga ang may deperensya sa relasyong ito. hahahaha! ;p Once, a friend even said “buang ka talaga jo! kung magbreak kayo ni Boo Ikaw talaga ang dapat sisihin…hindi talaga ikaw ang kampihan namin.” (thank you jane maribeth ha? magkaibigan pa naman sana tayo…hahahaha!) He makes me fall for him every single day. Minsan natatanong ko rin sa sarili ko kung bakit ako naging girlfriend niya…hahaha! Having him in my life is way beyond “swerte”.

sana natuwa kayo…especially ikaw isabelle!!! letse..pahamak ka ;p

Loving Father, I come before You, with faith in Your promise,
that whatever I ask for in Your name, You will grant it to me
if it is for the good of my soul, and in accordance with Your Divine Will.
I come trusting in Your great love, for me,
and believing that only You, know what is best for me.
I come to You now, to ask that You enter my heart,
and heal all my wounded emotions.
You know me better, than I know myself.
Bring Your healing love into every corner of my heart,
and release all the buried negative emotions, inside,
that have not been resolved, and continue to cause me pain and anguish.
Remove all my unhealed hurts and painful memories,
that block me of Your peace love and joy.
Heal all feelings of sadness, loneliness, fear and anxiety.
Heal all guilt , despair, feelings of betrayal and rejection.
Heal all feelings of anger, hatred, resentment and bitterness.
Bring Your healing love, to all my emotions, that have caused me,
feelings of hopelessness, discouragement, helplessness and despair.
Grant me the grace to forgive, all those who caused these
negative emotions,and likewise, to be forgiven by those
to whom i have done the same harm.
O Lord, give me a repentant heart, forgive me for my sins and failures
and be merciful to me.
Help me to realize the blessings that resulted from each painful
experience, and how this has led me, closer to You.
As You release from me, all these painful emotions,
fill all the empty spaces with Your love, Your peace, Your joy,
and the powerful presence of Your Holy Spirit.
After I have been healed, may my life be a witness to Your power,
and glory, and may I reach out, to others too.
All these i pray in Jesus’ name,
and all the angels and saints. AMEN

i’m sure most of us ay may kilalang ganito minsan sa ating buhay buhay
at malamang ang iba nainis, naasar, nakipag-away at nagparinig. At
malamang meron ring hindi pumatol dahil tinamad o ugali niya lang
talaga ang dedma epek. hahaha ;p

1. Mr./Ms. Dagdag-Bawas.
— ang lolo/lola mo may sariling version ng kwento. minsan kahit hindi
siya kasali sa main cast kunwari nakiki-extra siya sa eksena o di kaya
ginagawa niyang bida ang sarili niya. hahaha! loka-loka! ;p heto ang
mga taong sadyang boring ang buhay kaya kelangan umeffort.

2. Mr./Ms. Pavictim.
— ang humahakot ng kakampi para kunwari sila ang kawawa at inaapi.
Diyos ko! Utang na Loob ha? Panahon pa ni Kopong-Kopong ang
martyr-effect. wala bang mas high tech dyan?

3. Mr./Ms. Gossip xoxo you know you love me.
— ang mahilig sa group sharing at gumawa ng mga short stories na wala
na mang katotohanan. Chismis dito, Chismis doon hanggang sa mapaniwala
niya ang mundo sa mga kasinungalingan niya pati na yung mga taong
kakakilala palang niya. Oh? diba? Close kaagad sila!!! Magmula sa mga
traumatizing childhood experience niyang mukhang hindi naman totoo
hanggang sa madrama niyang Lovelife na parang lahat na lang ng naging
kalaguyo niya eh! siya ang inaapi. oi…kaw naman…huwag mong
binabaliktad…kaya ka iniiwan eh..hahahaha ;p

4. Mr./Ms. I know what you did last summer.
— parang information counter ang drama. kilala ang buong mundo at
take note! updated sa lahat. Evesdropping ang favorite hobby. Singlaki
ng tenga ni Dumbo kung makaradar ng panibagong chismis at parang
nakashabu kung maadik sa friendster ng ibang tao para lang makakuha ng
latest update. Oo na, alam mo na lahat pero anong square root ng
123430695693502950952050? sige nga! hahahaha ;p

5. Mr./Ms. Deny to death
— ito ang taong may deficiency sa pagpapakatotoo sa sarili!
uui…alam kong alam mong may alam ako. hahahaha ;p ayaw mu lang
umamin. Alam na ng buong campus na ‘di ka na virgin ha? oooopS!!!
hahahaha ;p  joke lang…

6. Mr./ Ms. ’til death do us part.
— ang mga nalulong sa Emo Shit. hahaha ;p  ang mahilig sa mga linyang "Juan Carlos, magpapakamatay ako kung iiwan mo ako. wala ng saysay ang buhay ko kung magkakahiwalay tayo." WOW!!!! emotional blackmail…pacheeseburger ka naman! BURGER! BURGER! BURGER! hahahahaha ;p

baka may gusto kayong idagdag…feel free to add…hahaha

"the opposite of love isn’t hate — it’s indifference. If you hate me that means you still care" (Marcia Cross,Desperate Housewives)

sa lahat ng mga kaibigan kong nagmamahal sa akin,
SALAMAT…mahal ko rin kayo.

sa mga lumoko sa akin,
may araw rin kayo…

sa mga nagpakilig sa akin,
this year ulit ha?!

sa mga nanira sa akin,
okay lang ‘yon…salamat sa laway at panahong inaksaya ninyo sa akin…ngayon alam ko ng pwede rin pala ako sa intriga (hehehe..ULOL!?).

sa mga nangutang na nalimutan na akong bayaran,
may interest na ‘yun!!!

sa mga nagpaiyak sa akin,
iiyak din kayo balang araw.

sa mga taong nagbahagi ng kani-kanilang kwento,
ganun pa rin ha?!

sa taong pinakamamahal ko,
mahal na mahal kita.

sa lahat ng mga pinagkakautangan ko (kung meron pa…hehe!),
huwag kayong mag-alala, mababayaran ko rin kayo.

at sa bumabasa nito,
wala lang…hanggang sa muli.

HAHA

*BOW*

you must take pleasure in pain inflicted by people who can’t seem to get a life. They live to criticize every inch of you, when in fact every little flaw they see hits them with pangs of jealousy and that even if you’re are a little stained they hopelessly ask themselves: "HOW THE HELL DOES SHE MAKE IT LOOK SO PERFECT?"

This I Promise YOU

When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I’ll be your strength,
I’ll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it’s gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
This I Promise You

I’ve loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never…
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we’ve won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun…

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won’t go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn’t be living at all…

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won’t go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you

Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you…

IF I HADN’T MET YOU IN THIS WORLD WE LIVE IN

I WOULD NEVER HAVE LEARNED HOW TO BELIEVE IN MY DREAMS.

joseph yap calo (april 06,2007/ 7:20 pm)